Seeing as it's #InternationalPronounsDay, I'd like to remind you that singular they/them are genderless pronouns by definition. These do not refer exclusively to any nonbinary gender identities, and do not belong to nonbinary people.
They/them can be used for anyone and everyone.
If you don't know what someone's preferred pronouns are, using they/them is always a gramatically correct choice, because these words refer simply to "this one person"
Try to remember that some people have a more complicated relationship with pronouns than you do.
Encouraging people in give pronouns in their bio is nice, but try not to be so heavy handed. It's rude to insist.
Instead, consider normalising the use of they/them for anyone who doesn't explicitly state their pronouns.
This post brought to you by that one enby who kinda dislikes using pronouns and tends to try and avoid them, due to preferences changing from time to time.
They/them is normally my preference.
I'm usually ok with she/her.
He/him is sometimes acceptable.
I don't know how I feel about any others.
(The lack of personal pronouns is a big part of why I like Japanese. And I wonder if the excessively gendered language might be part of why I don't seem to get on with French.)
@InvaderXan Yet Japanese traditional and modern culture is heavily patriarchal. One thing I always asked myself is, are we missing a point focusing just on language?
is it still:
- couple of men : ils
- couple of women : elles
- couple of women and one man : ils?
this infuriated me in french class in secondary school
@StroomAfwaarts Yeah, that always bothered me too. Take 100 women and 1 man, and you need to say ils.
@InvaderXan what about 彼, 彼ら and 彼女? 🤔
@pantransautie In modern Japanese, these are only ever used when talking about your boyfriend or girlfriend
@InvaderXan good to know; thanks!
@InvaderXan ah, Finnish is beautiful in it's indifference about gender
@InvaderXan This this
I don't bother trying to explain my pronoun choices to people, because long ago I gave up putting any thought into them when I realised my brain picks the one that best fits the situation and context in the moment.
So I just tell people to use they/them as it's always correct even when my brain is inserting he/hims into my speach.
Please? Like, this a lot. I'd prefer if there was a neutral default for when you don't know somebody's gender instead of having to out myself to strangers.
@InvaderXan Thank you.
Question from French speaking person.
In this case, do we say "they is", or "they are" ?
@punky "They are" is the correct way to say it. These pronouns use plural form, even when referring to a single person.
Thanks a lot !
@InvaderXan would you mind if I linked to this in my toot about my pronouns? I just can't think of a better way to say this
@GwenfarsGarden Of course you can, please feel free! 🙂
Note: Because of they/them being usable for anyone and everyone, it can ALSO be used for someone whose gender you know but don't want to mention, for whatever reason.
Your baby's genitals no one else's business? They/them.
You don't know if your trans friend is out to this person? They/them.
You think personal pronouns should be a private matter and only shared with close family and friends? Tell everyone else you can be referred to as they/them.
@InvaderXan I'm in favor of getting rid of pronouns all together. It's kind of messed up that our langues are based around someone gender, like that's the full measure of a person.
@InvaderXan Yes! I've been casually throwing around they/thems for a while now when talking about people (most often unnamed people) even if they are cis, just to normalize it for people. E.g., "I was talking to my friend and they said..." I do this a lot in emails at work when discussing students: "A student came in and they asked me..." It just neeeeeds to be a more common part of vocabulary for people.
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