Pls remember that not all trans people are out and don't keep asking what someone "identifies as" or their pronouns if it's obvious that they keep avoiding the question

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

A trans friend of mine kept asking me for my pronouns, what I "identify" as and whether it's ok to use my assigned gender pronouns for me when I kept changing the subject whenever they asked

This was after they asked if "they/them" was fine (they noticed that my girlfriend uses those pronouns) and I said yes, those pronouns are fine

But my girlfriend uses "they" by default for everyone so that didn't seem to satisfy them. They already had a pronoun they could use but I think they were just trying to figure out my gender, since they kept asking. Pls don't ask for pronouns just to satisfy a curiosity :(

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

Like idk the only reason you should ask for pronouns is if you legitimately don't know what's ok to use for this person, pls don't use asking for pronouns as a more socially acceptable way of figuring out someone's gender

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

That friend is usually really nice but I wish they'd stop misgendering me and asking me questions that I can't answer :(

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

When I avoided their question on whether it's ok to use my assigned gender pronouns, they just defaulted to using my assigned gender pronouns :(

Even though like 5 mins earlier I said that "they/them pronouns are good" when asked if I prefer those

I literally don't know what else I could've done to stop them from misgendering me short of outing myself

Is it really that hard to use gender neutral language for someone who you don't know the gender of and who has literally told you that they're fine with gender neutral language....

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Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

Like idk I think what kinda sucks about this is that it's a fellow trans person misgendering me after being given many opportunities to kinda just not do that

When they kept asking for my pronouns and stuff my girlfriend was there and we literally told them "we both use they by default for everyone we don't know the pronouns of because you can't tell someone's gender by how they look"

And then they just guess my pronouns based on how I look... after I was obviously avoiding their questions about my gender and also telling them that I like "they/them"

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Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

Like idk usually I don't care about being misgendered that much because cis people don't know any better, but when it's a fellow trans person who should know what it's like it kinda sucks :(

I wanted to take my time coming out to them but I feel like I have to now, or continue to be misgendered

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

@Some_Person i had almost this exact experience with someone last year and it fucking sucked ://

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

@myconidiosyncracy it's so awkward :/// I wish people didn't try to figure out my gender before I'm ready to tell them...

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

@Some_Person i know it's bc it's particularly easy for trans ppl to pick signs/gnc behavior and it's exciting to know another trans person but on the flipside....... seems pretty obvi that if someone is gnc and they're not super open and upfront about their pronouns it's because they're not sure/not ready to come out yet lmao

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

@myconidiosyncracy yeah I actually suspected they were trans as well but I didn't even think to ask because if they haven't told me obviously they weren't ready to

Sometimes I get curious too and excited at the possibility of someone being trans, but idk it's also none of my buissness?

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

@Some_Person yeah exactly. valid to be excited about being around another trans person but it doesn't give you the right to make them uncomfortable or invade their privacy

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Sunbeam City is a anticapitalist, antifascist solarpunk instance that is run collectively.