Pinned toot

I still haven't made an about me after about a year on here so I guess here it is:

I have studied biomedical science at uni. I have many hobbies, including art, gardening, sewing, learning languages and more.

I am trans (unspecified, prefer to keep my gender private) and also bi. My sexuality is more complicated than that but it still fits.

I am a white mixed immigrant. I can't speak for POC because I am treated as a white person now, but if you're white and think this means you're "safe" to say gross shit around me, please fuck off.

I am undiagnosed autistic. The above listed hobbies were actually special interests.

Feel free to interact if you're not being mean :)

(-) but I'm ok dw 

I haven't really been talking to many people in general tbh. I have like 3 friends that I'm happy about and trust, which is good, but I'm scared of making new friends.

Pretty much every social interaction gets me misgendered for sexist reasons, and having to deal with millions of microagressions wears you down when they all add up to seeing you as subhuman. And the worst of all, I don't feel supported anywhere, not even leftist spaces, with so many people doubting what I have experienced.

I think I'm just overly sensitive to discrimination. It gets tiring to think about.

I'm just going to focus on having fun with my special interests, make my garden super nice and start drawing more again.

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(-) but I'm ok dw 

If anyone noticed that I have been away, don't worry, I'm fine. Just don't want to be on mastodon or anywhere political at the moment.

Really tired of activism and politics because it just really rubs it in that people don't care about issues that affect me pretty much anywhere, and I see other people descriminated against too (like the racism problem here) and it just makes me so tired and sad.

It's much more happy to just live my life and not think about stuff like this. Maybe the person who's plant pic I'm looking at is a horrible bigot, who knows? But at least I don't have to know. With leftists, it hurts more when you find that out because it's somewhere you felt safe.

Idk maybe this attitude may be frowned upon here but I just want to live my life. I want to look after my plants and have fun with my special interests. Thinking about this just makes me feel unsupported and alone.

Are there any good feminist youtubers? Like, actually talking about sexism. If you search up feminism you only get anti-feminist channels :/

Abuse 

He's a sexist who doesn't care about consent and made that really clear. He doesn't seem to realise that what he's doing is abuse and not just normal male activity. Why would I want to talk to him?

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Abuse 

Ah an ex friend who abused me messaged me on Facebook trying to ask me "how are you"

Kinda don't want to talk to him???

Mastodon meta, anarchy 

Maybe there's a way to make this all better. I just think it will take more effort and more kindness than we previously thought.

It may also mean that we will have to listen to more voices than just the average white trans woman. The more diverse the voices we listen to, the better imo.

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Mastodon meta, anarchy 

When I first came to SBC, I was excited by all the ideas people had about anarchy and decentralisation and whatever, I was excited about the idea of a society where everyone can live happily and be equal.

As time went by, I grew to be more and more disappointed by mastodon. If this is anything like how anarchy would work, I am not sure if I have such a positive view of it anymore. I think we still need to work on our ideas and work towards solutions, utopia won't come so easily to us.

In my time here I have come across mountains of unexamined sexism and most of my efforts to have people question their biases didn't seem to have much of an impact. I have seen other users have racist harassment thrown at them. I've seen users just being plain assholes to each other.

It feels like there's still no way to be heard if you're not the majority. People aren't kind to each other.

@garfield what always drives my bio major ass buckwild is that... survival of the fittest also never means what these folks want to make it mean

evolution doesn't do "best overall". it doesn't do "clearly superior above all others". it doesn't do that. it does "most successful at passing on genes in a specific ecological niche", and if you look at animals for, like, two seconds, it becomes obvious that there's a whole lotta GOOD ENOUGH I GUESS going on out there.

SBC meta 

@Some_Person the first time I ever volunteered for an anarchist org one of the questions on the application was "what is one way you have experienced oppression and one way you have oppressed others" or words to that effect. It was a way to see if volunteers had awareness of these types of systems and if they'd be a good fit. Maybe a short reflection like that could be part of the registration process here? Assuming the mods would have time to go through and approve each one, idk

SBC meta 

I think it is also important for POC on this instance to be able to safely speak up. Maybe an anonymous way for POC to be able to raise any issues that they have. I think it would also be good to have these issues be visible to all, so even if the small group of moderators don't address them, it is easier to keep moderators accountable.

Of course if the person reporting the issue feels like making the issue public will get them harassed despite the anonymity, I think they should have the option of keeping it private.

If I am missing something important, feel free to ignore or adjust my ideas. I just want this space to be safer for POC.

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SBC meta 

Wow, I've missed a lot. I think we have some issues to work through. I am not really sure what to do, but I think it is vital that we make this space more welcoming for POC. I have a few ideas but I'm not sure if they're good, so if any POC think that my ideas are crap feel free to ignore them.

I think we definitely need to close regestrations for now. Maybe we could have an approval process, where white people must do some "pre-readings" and answer some questions about racism to be able to get in. POC can join without doing these pre-readings. These pre-readings would be picked by POC and would maybe be a few articles about unlearning white supremacy and not befriending nazis. I also think maybe the white people on this instance can have their accounts locked temporarily until they complete the pre-readings. Hopefully this will filter out unsafe white people to some degree to provide a better space for POC.

Being misgendered 

Was like "wow I haven't socialised lately with people who aren't my girlfriend and bff, maybe I should do that again"

And now I remember why I don't do that

Hope I won't get misgendered tomorrow :/

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

Like idk usually I don't care about being misgendered that much because cis people don't know any better, but when it's a fellow trans person who should know what it's like it kinda sucks :(

I wanted to take my time coming out to them but I feel like I have to now, or continue to be misgendered

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Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

Like idk I think what kinda sucks about this is that it's a fellow trans person misgendering me after being given many opportunities to kinda just not do that

When they kept asking for my pronouns and stuff my girlfriend was there and we literally told them "we both use they by default for everyone we don't know the pronouns of because you can't tell someone's gender by how they look"

And then they just guess my pronouns based on how I look... after I was obviously avoiding their questions about my gender and also telling them that I like "they/them"

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Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

When I avoided their question on whether it's ok to use my assigned gender pronouns, they just defaulted to using my assigned gender pronouns :(

Even though like 5 mins earlier I said that "they/them pronouns are good" when asked if I prefer those

I literally don't know what else I could've done to stop them from misgendering me short of outing myself

Is it really that hard to use gender neutral language for someone who you don't know the gender of and who has literally told you that they're fine with gender neutral language....

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Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

That friend is usually really nice but I wish they'd stop misgendering me and asking me questions that I can't answer :(

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Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

Like idk the only reason you should ask for pronouns is if you legitimately don't know what's ok to use for this person, pls don't use asking for pronouns as a more socially acceptable way of figuring out someone's gender

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Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

A trans friend of mine kept asking me for my pronouns, what I "identify" as and whether it's ok to use my assigned gender pronouns for me when I kept changing the subject whenever they asked

This was after they asked if "they/them" was fine (they noticed that my girlfriend uses those pronouns) and I said yes, those pronouns are fine

But my girlfriend uses "they" by default for everyone so that didn't seem to satisfy them. They already had a pronoun they could use but I think they were just trying to figure out my gender, since they kept asking. Pls don't ask for pronouns just to satisfy a curiosity :(

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Pls remember that not all trans people are out and don't keep asking what someone "identifies as" or their pronouns if it's obvious that they keep avoiding the question

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Sunbeam City 🌻

Sunbeam City is a anticapitalist, antifascist solarpunk instance that is run collectively.