whyvoneenee @whyvoneenee@sunbeam.city

Wow, I blinked and months passed. Sorry I've been gone for so long!

Re- #introductions

I'm Yvonne, joined SBC in Dec 2018. Crafty, DIY enthusiast who's Solarpunk at heart. Soft spot for destigmatizing mental health and neurodivergency.

29 y.o., Black (Ghana by way of NY), Bi, (I think), designer/developer, geeky (D&D, anime, what have you), also into music, cooking, animation, film/videography, art for art's sake, and just being chill.

Hi!

[We, you and I, sit in a dark room with overhead lighting from a single lamp. There is an old oak desk between us. My hands are folded in front of my slightly turned face.]

Me: So... (Reaches into pocket and slides you a $20 over the table) let's become friends and talk about our issues and relentlessly support each other through everything. Or, (reaches into pocket and pulls out a number of queer flag stickers, flipping them between fingers) should I sweeten the deal?

Sorry that ~90% of my toots have to do with Crippling Anxiety & Depression™

*wakes up*
WHERE AM I? WHO ARE YOU? ... OH oh I remember.

I'm still alive! Mostly through the streaming world, but alive nonetheless! Went through a gambit of doctor visits (so fun!); turns out I have ADHD and fibromyalgia (very much fun!). Also, my phone just decided to give me all the notifications I missed from here, so hopefully I'll be on more now.

Lots of streaming, lots of projects, good a 9 to 5 and I don't like it, and still alive. Yo!

Finally switched over from Chrome to Firefox 100% (except for captioning purposes). Took me long enough.

Still alive everyone! pip pip!

Everytime I open the Fedilab app I am greeted with a "No toots to display" and I worry that the server's been deleted.
But then I refresh and it's fine.
Anyway, still alive. Hello!

The charity stream is in a little over 10 hours and I'm not sleeping because of insomnia and anxiety.

Yeah, sounds about right.

Me: I think I'll be fine today! ☺️
...
Me: *slowly falls over, cartoon style, completely horizontally*
...
Me: 🙂 totally fine. 🙃

So the #BLM fundraiser I'm doing on the 7th, I've been trying to promote while making memorial social media posts of people who died from police overreach or systemic racism in general. In searching for them I got so unnerved and depressed that I couldn't continue, so then I got a volunteer team to hand it off to but I had to keep writing personal reflection blurbs for them, and that was somehow even worse. All that plus the charity stream (that I'm really worried will fail) and just America currently and general life, I have not been well. No longer crying my eyes out like I was all weekend, and I dumped the blurbs because just... too much, but I'm worried I will still be unable to sleep till sunrise.

Would have just uploaded the poster as a pic so I could add alt text, but for some reason Fedilab won't let me. 😒

Link to the fundraiser page and poster download because my brain is still in promo mode even at 2 in the morning:
https://cutt.ly/itsavibe-poster
https://tiltify.com/@eveonbee/its-a-vibe

Most of what I've been doing lately has been streaming, and probably since August I really wanted to do a #BLM fundraiser since I actually have a platform now. So the past month or so I've been pouring pretty much everything I am into Nov. 7. I'm having a 12-hour stream called "it's a VIBE (Virtual Initiative for Black Equality)" and everything has been prep for that. Making visual promo materials, social media pages, contacting folks, finding people to guest star in stream (which I still actually need. 🙃). I am so so tired and, tbh, a bit shaken from all the research I've had to do. But I'm really hoping it works out.

Still alive! Very tired, but still alive

I wrote a poem and posted it on Facebook that I actually started mentally penning last night because I knew something like this shit would happen.

Isn't that fucking sad?

Over this past month I've been trying to chronicle the pain that I feel every day because I keep having these big bad days with weird unexplained happenings and I feel like I keep getting brushed off by doctors. So, started documenting, have been mostly consistent but weekends are hard, and crimidy I'm in pain a lot. Like, more than I realized because my base reaction is to ignore it, or I let it pass and forget it completely (yay ADHD). But it's like I can't deny it now? And seeing how often I have these pains are freaking me out? Especially since I'm poor and I worry Medicaid is gonna lead CPs to dismiss me? 🙃
Money is the fucking worst. 🙃🙃🙃

How come it feels like time is simultaneously dragging along and speeding past at breakneck speeds?

Anyway, hi yes hello.