whyvoneenee @whyvoneenee@sunbeam.city

Wow, I blinked and months passed. Sorry I've been gone for so long!

Re- #introductions

I'm Yvonne, joined SBC in Dec 2018. Crafty, DIY enthusiast who's Solarpunk at heart. Soft spot for destigmatizing mental health and neurodivergency.

29 y.o., Black (Ghana by way of NY), Bi, (I think), designer/developer, geeky (D&D, anime, what have you), also into music, cooking, animation, film/videography, art for art's sake, and just being chill.

Hi!

[We, you and I, sit in a dark room with overhead lighting from a single lamp. There is an old oak desk between us. My hands are folded in front of my slightly turned face.]

Me: So... (Reaches into pocket and slides you a $20 over the table) let's become friends and talk about our issues and relentlessly support each other through everything. Or, (reaches into pocket and pulls out a number of queer flag stickers, flipping them between fingers) should I sweeten the deal?

Sorry that ~90% of my toots have to do with Crippling Anxiety & Depression™

And why is it that nowadays with these "bi-partisan" arguments, it really comes down to "do you care about people dying or nah?" And this really shouldn't be such a controversial question! Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Ya ever just post an article on social media and your SO's relative comes in with stupid-ass alt-right arguing points and you can't curse them out for being so stupid and unfeeling as they are because you have to maintain good relations with your SO's family?
🙃🙃🙃

I have a long history of having sudden panic attacks about death and dying (which I ended up calling "death frights"), and when I say long I mean since my single digit days. Over the past 6 years or so I've been working to become more at peace with the concept of death and the death frights had significantly lessened in intensity and frequency, from a once-a-week thing to once every blue moon. However, with everything going on, reading about people's horrible deaths, the lynchings happening across the country, my grasp on peace has been looser and looser. Yet, somehow watching Hamilton last night and then finding out the intentionality behind Breonna Taylor (and more lynchings) today has me teetering the edge.

Long story short, I'm not doing well, holding on but not sure how long I can, please help. Try anything.

Streaming Animal Crossing at 3 (in an hour and a half), if you wanna pop in.

https://twitch.tv/akuaevonne

why is finding options to add closed captions to streams soooo haaardddd????

/whine

Do y'all know of someone who could make a cute chibi bust of me for my Twitch channel? (yes I am paying.) I don't need a background; I'll design one myself. Black/POC priority if possible. If interested, plz PM me!

All I keep thinking about is "I don't have anything but flats and Converses", "supportive shoes are way expensive", "I haven't found one deodorant that works for me and doesn't give me cysts", "whyyyy a smart watch?"

I just... I am stressed. And I feel like because I can't afford these solutions I'm going to be unhirable and falling apart and getting worse for the rest of forever. And I am stressed.

So I went to the doctor today about some pain I have in my right big toe. Turns out it's a bone spur. She said it shouldn't require x-rays or surgery, but I should "get more supportive shoes and avoid wearing flats."
She then inquired about my hormone testing I did a month ago and a follow-up I still need to do. This is primarily about me having high levels of cortisol (the stress hormone, go figure). So, piggy-backing off of that were questions about my ongoing issues with body odor (which she suggested I get a cream-based hypoallergenic deodorant), heart palpitations (she wants me to get a smart watch to track my pulse), and facial hair, and said it's probably all tied to the cortisol. Go figure.

I am here low key but really high key freaking out. Not just because I have a freaking bone spur that won't leave, but all the solutions cost a lot of money, money which I do not have. At all.

I think that after I finish this one freelance project I have, i'll have to stop working for a while. And it freaking sucks.

I just feel like I can't gather my brain enough to do what it needs to do. Every day I feel too wrung dry or scattered to get anything done. And I know that I'm on a depressive downswing and ADHD is a thing and being stressed about current events is definitely not helping. And I probably really need a break.

But I like having money? Like, I can live without it; I'll still have a roof and (mostly) have (some sort of) food to eat. But it sucks not being able to get things for myself and constantly having to ask others to get me things. it suuuuucksssss.

I was thinking of reflavoring The Barber of Silverymoon for the first adventure, then go to the one I ran before, and then go on to one that I have in my head but haven't written out yet. However, I'm not too fond of the Barber campaign because it just feels too silly for the intrigue vibe I'm going for, at least for the first group adventure. Yet, I need to find a way to introduce them to this foreign setting. And #DnD peeps got suggestions?