monads keep gaslighting me by favouriting my toots and then changing their profile name multiple times so it looks like different people like it

catfishing Hell by translating my summoning rituals to Valley Girl

none of this is true 

hacked the 23andme database to give myself a new pair of genes that codes in heelies

I only have maybe 2 kinds of yelling and one is unintelligible

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to me the most impressive part of stage actors is that they basically start off yelling, and then can crank it up 4-5 steps of yelling, from there

in my mind Billy Bass is the only one who deserves the hat title "women want me, fish fear me"

I have an uncanny sense for when a musician has just said a line that rhymes with 'sing' and is about to say it

thinking about a coffee shop AU of skyrim's intro where you're woken up and told you have to pay your tab

uspol 

genuinely not sure why Pelosi said that

odds a "saint" i've heard of did something fucked up in the name of british colonialism: 100%

non-ironically looking forward to the internet splitting into sites that only work in Chrome and sites that refuse to work in Chrome so everyone has to have multiple browsers again

load balancing deez nuts for optimal perf.

my mild take is that tetris is the best videogame. hot take is that it's the only good game, taking maximum advantage of the medium instead of just being "what if a book... took longer to read"

preservation is fine and all, but it's actually ok with me if a videogame is ephemeral and won't exist forever

did i do a toot about predatory self driving cars before? no don't think so. wait for it

that time I took one of those online memory tests and scored, like, 60 times better than the average specifically on remembering whether I'd already seen or not seen words earlier in the test. the hell did I train my brain at this for

misreading a job ad and sending the cia slashfic about al quaeda instead of tips

meta, but not really about masto 

tweets trying to shame me for not tweeting about whatever social justice issue are actually never going to increase the number of tweets I send about that topic, only decrease the number of tweets I send about anything at all

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Sunbeam City 🌻

Sunbeam City is a anticapitalist, antifascist solarpunk instance that is run collectively.