Kate @griffinkate@sunbeam.city

And I've realised one of the reasons I keep drifting away from Mastodon is that I just don't get the same dopamine hit here! Because I have so few followers and I don't get anything like the same level of engagement I get over on birdsite.

Obviously the answer should be to spend more time on here, post more etc. But it's hard to motivate myself to do that when I can get instant feedback and engagement and chat over at The Bad Place and most of my real-life friends are there.

When we had the apple tree, I had the same conversation like a zillion times.

"We're thinking of getting rid of the apple tree."
"Oh, you caaaaaan't! It's so amazing having free apples right there in your garden!"
"Do you want any apples?"
"God, no."

Having a chilli plant and not being able to give the chillis away is kind of a pain in the backside, but then I remember having an apple tree and not being able to give the apples away and this is definitely a problem on a smaller scale!

(Also, I have been in training for this, because since January I've failed to give away a LOT of kefir grains.)

I did this astonishingly repetitive, boring test and for every question picked the answer with an equal distribution of funds. Apparently this means my decision-making style is "extremely feminine", which I'm taking to mean "very fair and logical".

https://www.idrlabs.com/gender-game/test.php

When I moved here, I wanted to stay registered with my old GP, but wasn't allowed to do so because it's too far from my new house (about 25 minutes' walk away). Funny how that distance was unacceptable, yet forcing me to travel further for a flu jab is completely fine.

Sooooo, I thought that this week's flu jab would be my chance to finally set foot in "my" GP surgery, almost exactly a year since I moved here. But nope. For reasons known only to themselves, they're holding the vaccination clinic in some random church hall, half an hour's walk away. I've been there before and it's plastered with "No Cycling" signs, just in case you were getting any funny ideas about reaching it without a car.

I don't fancy an hour's round trip, so I've asked my mum for a lift. Yet again the NHS sends a giant "fuck you" to anyone who doesn't drive.

Oh, and Duolingo. So much Duolingo.

Every now and then I take a break from birdsite for mental health reasons and wanting to use my time more mindfully. And I always find that I:

*suddenly log back into Mastodon for the first time in months
* suddenly get really chatty in all my group chats and feel disappointed not to have more/quicker replies
* start shopping online for all the stuff I've been meaning to buy for ages but haven't, plus loads of stuff that I don't need.

And it is soooo obvious why. My brain is just going "aarrghhhh where's the clicky clicky clicktrance, gimme another dopamine source". Which is probably a sign that I should spend *more* time off birdsite and, IDK, try to rewire my brain!

I dreamed last night that I submitted a novel to a publisher by arranging an in-person meeting.

She kept me waiting for ages and her assistant kept bringing me cheap biscuits, whole packets full, and nagging me to eat them. I ate way more than I wanted because she was so insistent.

Finally the publisher appeared. She offered me a tray of exquisite sweet treats. They looked delicious, but I was so full from the cheap biscuits! I took one and took a tiny bite. She immediately offered me another one.

I said "Sorry, they're all amazing but I've just had so many. I can only choose one."

She said "EXACTLY." And it turns out this was her way of explaining why she was rejectig my book.

I've been putting off going to the dentist for months because there's nothing wrong with my teeth and I thought others would need a dentist more urgently.

But in early May I realised it was 16 months since my last check-up, so I decided to book one.

The earliest appointment they could give me was the 9th of August. Fine.

But they just rang to say the dentist isn't available on that day, and have moved my appointment to September.

Bloody lucky there's nothing wrong with my teeth, really!

Baby boomers stop making all your calls on speaker without telling the person on the other end that they're on speaker challenge

TFW you write a quirky intro that frames a complex and boring issue in a relatable way and you already knoooowwwww the client is going to edit it out because it's not boring enough 🤦‍♀️

My dad's in hospital and before he went in, my mum packed a bag with a towel in it.

He rang the next day to say he needs a towel. My mum asked why, because surely he already has the one she packed. He said that the hospital saw it, assumed it was theirs and took it away, so now he doesn't have one.

OK, said my mum, so won't they give you another one?

No, said my dad, hospitals don't provide you with towels these days.

If they don't provide you with towels, why did they assume his towel belonged to them?! Make it make sense!

Anyway, now she has brought him a few ugly but distinctive-looking beach towels.

I have four copies of Cycling UK magazine I don't want. Happy to post to anyone who will donate a fiver to charity in exchange.

Oct/Nov 2020
Dec 2020/Jan 2021
Feb/March 2021
April/May 2021

Any takers?