griffinkate @griffinkate@sunbeam.city

My local Homebase has stopped selling seeds because it's closing down (but it is selling shitloads of Xmas trees and baubles). My local big supermarket has stopped selling seeds and replaced all the garden stuff with back-to-school-themed stationery. The shop that sometimes sells seeds has stopped too.

I'm coming to the conclusion that the easiest way of getting hold of basil seeds without a car is to let my existing basil plant go to seed and then harvest it.

I actually chucked out another plant earlier this week because I'm tired of how messy they look when they're going to seed. Regretting it now!

After listening to people on here and reading up on it, I'm coming to the conclusion that the droopiness is the plant's normal habit but the brownness is a sign of blight, probably something called Eastern Filbert Blight.

So I'm going to trim off all the brown bits and spray it with a solution of bicarb.

Apparently many gardeners place summer plants in front of this tree precisely because it looks ugly and ailing in the summer. Then when the plants die back in winter it gets a chance to shine with its catkins and amazing bare branches.

I'm thinking verbena bonariensis would be a good choice to go in front of it!

In a world where capitalism always tries to rush us on to the next thing, the next season, it can be a radical act to just enjoy the season you're in for what it is.

Corylus avellana contorta seems to be ailing. There are new buds on it but the leaves are droopy. I think it's getting plenty of water and it's had new soil recently. Any ideas?

I've been browsing for a small, light lawnmower to mow a small space and seen a surprisingly high number of recommendations for push mowers which don't operate using electricity.

Has anyone on here had experience of a manual lawnmower? Is it something I should consider? Any tips or recommendations?

I'm an able-bodied but smaller- than-average woman. My lawn is a manageable size and over time it's going to get smaller (as I develop the garden into something more interesting than just a patio and lawn!)

I've decided that since I don't actually want to attend the class anyway, explaining about the joss-stick thing will achieve nothing. And I want to stay on OK terms with her because we're highly likely to bump into each other in the future. (I now go to a Pilates class just before her Monday yoga class.)

So I'm going to go with another excuse.

Minor etiquette/ethical dilemma...

Last year I went to a yoga class at our local community centre but decided to quit because the teacher always lit a joss-stick that set off my asthma and it stressed me out having to ask her to blow it out every time. But the teacher quit herself to start a new job anyway.

Fast-forward to this year and there's a new class at the centre so I go along but I'm disappointed to see it's the same teacher! She said that Mondays are normally full and I should have booked, but she'll take my details for if a space opens up.

She emailed saying a space has opened up on Thursdays. My mum said "please don't be nasty" so I replied saying I can't commit to the whole course.

Now she's emailed back saying it's OK if I can't commit, I can still join.

Do I just tell her the joss-stick thing is the real problem for me? Thing is, I don't think I want to go to her class anyway because there's a better one elsewhere on Thursdays.

I was just wondering what the female equivalent of "bromance" is, and then it hit me:

We don't have one, because our concept of friendship already allows for admiring/really enjoying the company of/really caring about someone who is not in the category of people we want to sleep with.

Men don't have this concept, so they try to somehow link it to romantic relationships, because that's their framework for understanding strong interest in another person.

TIL about the concept of the "veil of ignorance" and it's very interesting/useful.

Basically: when you present people with an ethical problem, you tell them to imagine away everything about their own situation and assume it's possible for them to be *anyone* affected by the situation. People with this different perspective tend to make different choices and on first reading, it seems like they're making *better* choices.

https://psyarxiv.com/fcqpt/

I think what gets me about poor old Chilly Charlotte is that she has all these woke people calling her out for her ableism and privilege AND men who didn't get the woke memo calling her a dumb bitch.

What all these people have in common is that they don't like the actual weather and they want to have artificial weather created for themselves, indoors, that is wildly different from the real weather and achieved at huge financial and environmental cost.

But SHE'S the privileged one and they're either oppressed by her or tougher than her (depending on whether they're the people calling her a narcissist or the people calling her a dumb bitch)

Today it was a woman saying that air-conditioning at work makes her cold and miserable and ill and she wants businesses to turn it down.

Instant pile-on.

Some saying she was lying because air-con can't spread disease, another diagnosing her with anaemia, a bunch of people calling her ableist for ignoring the needs of disabled people who might be on meds to make them feel hot, a couple moaning about thin privilege, one person literally calling her a narcissist.

All because the poor cow shared her experience (feeling cold) and spoke up for her needs (to be warmer).

These people are currently comfortable in temperatures that make others miserable. They have that privilege.

But they're the "winners", they're the good guys, because they were the first in the argument to use the words "privilege" and "ableism" and "narcissist".

Yesterday I saw a trans woman sharing what she thought was a unique insight into being a woman. A cis woman replied to say "actually, that's not so unique, I've experienced it too" and there was a real pile-on, starting with the original tweeter blocking her and telling her "This isn't about you right now".

Not "hey, you've misunderstood, my insight is different because..." but just "I'm blocking you for this B.S. comment".

I've been back on birdsite quite a bit lately, but I'm finding it exhausting and I think I need a break.

Maybe it's just the people I follow, IDK, but I'm absolutely sick of seeing the same arguments play out and everybody using the same tired phrases to "win".

It just feels like nobody's listening to the actual discussion or doing any real thinking, they're just pattern-matching, and the first person to say "Stay in your lane" or "This isn't about you" or "I'm not here for your feelings" or "Stop trying to centre yourself" is the "winner" because they must be the good guy, the One True Oppressed Person Whose Perspective Must Be Shared.

It doesn't matter *what* they're saying these things in response to. What matters is that these phrases mark them out as the most important person in the conversation. It's some weird cargo-cult crap.

Very long shot, but can anyone on here recommend a company that supplies/fits blinds and shutters in Cardiff?

Last week I persuaded some of my family to watch RBG on Netflix.

In the opening scenes I was shocked by how much the actress playing RBG looked like her. Was it Meryl Streep doing her uncanny shape-shifting act? Glenn Close maybe? An unknown, chosen for her striking physical resemblance to the real RBG?

Turns out it WAS the real RBG and the film is a documentary, not a drama.

I was embarrassed because I'd never try to persuade people to watch a documentary when they're looking for a fun film to watch, but luckily it was really good.

Does anyone else feel like a completely different person as the seasons change?

At this time of year I am more relaxed, sociable, spontaneous, energetic. I feel like I can cope with so much more. I feel like the world is so much more full of possibility.

I never want to stop feeling like this, but I know the cycle of the year has to go round. I just wish there was a useful way to somehow keep a bit of this summer personality all the time.