I'm turning this into a very personal, half vent half stream of consciousness thing, not seeking interaction. I uninstalled all social media but I needed a place where I could tap out a thought, send it off & not have it physically take up space in my notes app.
Polyfrag DID, extreme abuse survivor. Expect that kind of content. I've been diagnosed since before Tumblr was relevant. More so just warning existing followers because I'm too lazy to clean this shit out & I don't care.
And, mainly, it is embarrassing because I'm an immigrant and somehow have obtained more functional and practical knowledge about the US govt than some native born citizens
So today I found out that Will Smith turned down a scholarship to MIT so he could pursue hip hop, and then later on turned down the role of Neo The Matrix to star in a movie that so drastically failed that it lost $60 mil (though I think it's a great slapstick comedy). The Choices this man made in life...
I downloaded Zotero and now I finally have a cohesive and organized spot to dump a bunch of research papers. And it's nicely organized file-wise so I can stick everything on a USB. This is the sexiest I've ever felt. I do tend to hoard papers so having folders and subfolders and summaries on the side is so 😩💦
Instead of writing an essay for a boring GenEd course, I have:
• created a spreadsheet comparing various data points of different schools
• compiled transfer guides
• nearly created my own web scraper, half for fun
• made an RSS feed to retrieve research and field of study news, including custom alerts from my school's research databases
• created boards within the RSS feed to bookmark articles that fit specific interests/focus points
• signed up for a bunch of events
Also I am not legally allowed to drive because of seizures!!! You know!!!! One of the disabilities I have!!!! Extra fun for the whole family to try and find a faxing place on SUNDAY because I got their shitty fucking mail this afternoon with not enough time to fill it out before places close.
The Social Security Disability office: Yes we know you've been waiting for us to decide on your SSDI case for *checks calendar* Almost Two Years but consider filling out many pages of paperwork and faxing it less than 24 hours after you got it (with the deadline on Sunday when EVERYTHING IS CLOSED) otherwise we'll make a decision without it :) It's not like having a disability makes this hard or anything.
It's totally not connected, we Promise. - City officials, probably.
Samsung spilled 763,000 gallons of sulfuric acid into the water of Austin, with news going from "everything's fine!" to saying it killed all affected aquatic life & turned concrete orange. Then Austin issued a boil water notice for the entire city. The day after this hits NYT's front page, the city lifted the boil water notice at 1am (despite the testing facility closing at 5pm & multiple districts of the city still untested). No official reason has been given at all for the boil notice.
Also there's something to be said about how people are REALLY obsessed with suffering and pain in media. Thinking that for things to be "deep" or meaningful they have to showcase suffering to the point of fetishistic ogling rather than respectful acknowledgement. I am tired of looking at pain. I am tired of "harsh lessons" and "grittiness" in media being praised when really it just states an obvious fact.
Give me something that doesn't hurt, or recovers from hurt. Give me kindness and hope.
I don't understand fictional media whose central theme/plot are things like the pandemic, global warming, corporate greed, racism, etc. in the same fashion as its happening now.
What's the point. I can just go outside. I can pick up the news. I can read nonfiction. Why would I want to look at what's already happening but through the lens of a writer who isn't trying to deliver facts but their own perspective on it?
When I was a kid I thought the reason people were such big fans of actors was because the whole film was only shot once and they had up to 2 hours of lines memorized, had impeccable timing and the right camera angles and body language at each scene.
I lost so much respect after finding out that they didn't do it all in one take that I never cared about what actors did after that.
The fact that the American Revolutionary War happened over being told to pay taxes and some port trade issues, resulting in a unanimous vote for independence from Britain in the span of like 3 months, but now we can't even get people to unanimously agree that police killing citizens is bad and laws for human rights takes so LONG to be pitched and processed is so pathetic it borders on slapstick.
Not looking for interaction.
Sunbeam City is a anticapitalist, antifascist solarpunk instance that is run collectively.