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*steps onto main street in the western town serving as an analog to mastodon in this metaphor*

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:sun:

_ ,..,.˛˛_˛.,, ˛.,_,_,..˛˛__˛,.,.,__ ˛_˛_.,.,.˛˛

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🏠 🏡
:fern: 💐:blobhyperthink: :aloe:
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im back, babey!

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not to be horny on main, but y'all ever seen moss covered embankments bounding woodland streams burbling lazily over stones worn smooth by the centuries?

selfie, ec 

like, by rights i should dislike how i look rn.

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i feel like a bedraggled rat but in a kinda hot way

im full of soup and spun in too many circles too fast on my desk chair and now i’m queasy

surprise inside click on me 

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im gay

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underwater inscrutable domes are of course some of the most desirable. points if it’s murky and there are big fish. i wouldn’t say no to a jungle inscrutable dome or a mountain inscrutable dome, but i’d feel very exposed in a freeway inscrutable dome or a city-center inscrutable dome.

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well. it would depend on what was outside the inscrutable dome and whether it was fun to watch. also like. could i invite friends into the inscrutable dome? these are the important questions.

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i would take very well to being placed in an inscrutable dome

okay i went and deleted some stuff from it too but the 2->3 character change is the only one worth remarking on

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trauma reflection, abusive parents, fun story featuring very minor partial dismemberment of baby me (look it’s funny in retrospect), bad things happening to fingers. 

there was a doctor on the flight, my finger was sown back on, and due to the remarkable healing ability of an infant with 16 years of growth left it’s nearly impossible to tell which finger it was.

assuming it was a story told truthfully, (i think it was because i’ve heard it several times from both parents), that sure was a way to set the tone for the next 19-20 years of my life

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trauma reflection, abusive parents, fun story featuring very minor partial dismemberment of baby me (look it’s funny in retrospect), bad things happening to fingers. 

this reminds me of a story from when i was a baby that never fails to get a wince out of people i tell it to. background is that my dad has anger issues, is decently strong, and is the type to push hard when met with resistance.

when i was very, very young i was put on a four hour flight and sat in a middle seat between my parents. at a point i’ve been informed was almost two hours into that flight i was doing standard baby things, exploring my new environment with my hands, being curious and shit. anyway i ended up poking at the space in between the chairs around the same time my dad wanted to put the arm rest down.

the arm rest didn’t go down all the way when he pulled it down. so he shifted, put his weight behind it, and shoved it down *hard*.

my finger was left hanging on by a little skin.

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trauma reflection, abusive parents 

part of the issue with the response to resistance being to push deal is that it’s very much the attitude my abusive father had, and that’s not an association i want to make with a person i live with

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trauma reflection 

door to my room has no lock, so there’s an added layer of delicacy. i tried putting a laundry basket in front of it instead of explaining, because i don’t like to explain why i’m anxious when i’m anxious, but their response to resistance was to push. which i’m finding is more expansive than just a door thing and just kinda how they operate? anyway i explained it that time after they pushed the door open and they were very apologetic, but it was a specific instance conversation not a general one. i suppose i must bite the bullet and have a “here’s what i need to feel comfortable day-to-day” conversation, which i’m kinda dreading for no good reason. maybe it’s the inherent vulnerability in having it?

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trauma reflection 

i wonder if my roommate would be on board with just like. not touching my door and texting me to say things or get my attention. or if that’s even a reasonable ask

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trauma reflection 

hm. my roommate opens my door a lot. turns out i have more trauma than i thought tied into the door to my room being opened. i may need to talk to them about this

i think i am going to play the haiku robot game for the first time

new roommate, mh- 

tension with roommate incident because i moved the unused cat beds to where the cats like to sit so the cats would be comfy and that made roommate mad results in 1 nonverbal 1 very uncomfortable and 1 anxious. (im all three baybee)

i want to fuck this rainstorm. i want to have raw hot gay sex with the rumbling thunder.

posted nudes to my nsfw twitter for the first time in months and i look really cute. tempted to post an especially good lewd here to really establish me at my hottest as what my face looks like

oh baby it’s about to rain and im ten minutes from being off work let’s get this timing perfect baybeeee

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Sunbeam City 🌻

Sunbeam City is a anticapitalist, antifascist solarpunk instance that is run collectively.