They're a nice person but I wish they'd stop misgendering me and just assume "they" is fine since my trans girlfriend keeps using those for me
They're a trans friend of my girlfriend so idk why they keep asking lol, I thought at this point it would be obvious that I'm either not out or don't want to talk about it :'(
Someone I'm not out to keeps asking for my pronouns!!!! I don't want to come out lmao and they are asking if my birth gender pronouns are ok and like no!!!! They're not ok!!! So I just avoided answering the question....
And they also asked if "they/them" is fine because my girlfriend uses that for me, and I said they're good pronouns but they still asked if I am OK with birth pronouns :'(((( and when I avoided the question (just changed the subject lol) they still use wrong gendered words for me :'(((
Personal (-), relationships
I wish it was possible to make everyone happy and not have to compromise. There's an issue that my girlfriend and I are having which involves at least one of us feeling at least a bit sad. Thinking of my girlfriend being even a little sad for me makes me feel bad. I want my girlfriend to be happy. The other option would make me feel really bad, which my girlfriend isn't ok with.
I just wish that we could find a solution that is good for both of us.
"not like other girls"
Tbh a lot of the time, making fun of "not like the other girls" girls turns into just shitting on GNC women. They don't even have to post that it makes them better than other girls to be branded this way, sometimes it's enough to just be gnc.
Bullying, "not like other girls"
Like idk most girls who say this type of stuff are kids. Often, they are girls who don't fit into gender roles.
Imagine being a small girl who is kinda nerdy and not really "feminine". This girl might be bullied by more "socially acceptable" and popular girls at the school. These girls will probably make fun of her for being "ugly" or not fitting gender roles. This girl can either hate herself or be like "wow maybe I don't need to be like those girls, maybe I am actually great and don't need to focus on my appearance". This may not be so eloquently said. Maybe she says "all those dumb girls care about is their appearance, but I am not like them, I just want to read science fiction."
Then this post can be taken and made fun of, often by men. These men can be like "lmao look at this teenage girl trying to be a pick me, doesn't she know that caring about your appearance is good" and make fun of her without consequence.
Something doesn't seem right...
Personal (-), mh
I feel like there's lots of layers and underlying issues on what makes me feel like this. It makes it hard to explain. From what I can tell there's multiple issues.
1. I was polyamorous my whole life and I was kinda snobby about it as a teen so I feel like I'm being boring and closed minded by being monogamous now, even though I enjoy the actual relationship being monogamous.
2. I feel like my girlfriend will leave me if she realises how much better other people are
3. I feel like I am not very good so it makes me feel sad to think about how other people may be much better
4. I feel worried that I'm making my girlfriend miserable, even though she said it's fine
I feel like there's more layers but it's so complicated
Personal (-), mh
I am happy being in a monogamous relationship but I feel like in ruining my girlfriend's life. I feel like I'm controlling her by asking to be in a monogamous relationship. She said that she's fine with being monogamous, but would prefer being polyamorous if given the choice. I feel like I'm a bad person for not letting her do what she wants to do.
Personal (-), abuse, mh
I think my past experiences with abusive relationships messed up my feelings and I am worried it's permanent. I now have an almost overwhelming amount of jealousy and I can't seem to get rid of it no matter what I try. I was a jealous person before, but not so jealous that it was affecting my life too much. I was even in a non-monogamous relationship before.
Now I get jealous over really tiny things. I know that it's rediculous. I know that the thing itself isn't the problem, I know it's just my underlying issues and not the action itself that's making me feel like that. I still feel jealous. I can't logic away this feeling. I feel like I will never be enough for my girlfriend and like I'm ruining her life by staying with her. I feel like if she has any experiences with anyone else that she'll instantly realise how horrible I am.
I think I'm more naturally polyamorous but I am in a monogamous relationship right now since I'd be too jealous.
Peeing standing up hot take
Maybe instead of teaching people to pee standing vs sitting based on how their urethra wires up, we should encourage people to do what they're actually good at. All I know is that at least one of my cis brothers keeps peeing on the floor and refuses to sit to pee because that's what he was told to do based on his anatomy.
Some people with shorter urethras can pee completely fine standing up and some with longer urethras just pee everywhere and can't aim. I think a lot of cis men feel like it's emasculating to sit down or something so they just refuse despite peeing all over the toilet seat and the floor every time.
It should be simple. If you can't aim, sit down. Just a little protip :)
How to avoid drama on the fediverse (part 2):
Stop and think before you reply:
- Does this conversation benefit from my input?
- Am I the best person to speak on this topic?
- Do I have a full understanding of what's being said?
- Is that *really* what's being said right now?
- Do I know and/or understand where the OP is coming from?
If you answer "no" to any of these questions, shhhh.
Personal, suicide mention, negative but everything is ok
I was so stressed yesterday because my girlfriend was suicidal from a sudden mood drop. I am still so tired today and had a headache for half a day as well.
She's in another state atm so I won't be able to see her for another three weeks. I just miss her a lot and want to hug her. The fact that she had a plan scared me a lot.
She has calmed down and is fine for now. I'm still worried.
Discrimination by "leftists" against minorities
I think a big problem in leftist spaces like this is people using their identity as a shield to defend themselves when called out about bigotry.
Being trans or gay doesn't mean you can't be racist. It is still necessary to question your beliefs.
Even identifying as part of the marginalised group doesn't mean you can't be bigoted unintentionally. Being a woman doesn't mean you can't be sexist, for example.
An identity alone doesn't mean you're gonna know everything. It's always good to listen and grow. No one has to be perfect, but problems arise when people stop questioning their ideas and stop listening to other marginalised people.
Sexism, sexual assault
I feel like a lot of cishet white men see sexism as just a slight difference of statistics between the groups. Just being a little more likely to not get the job, a little more likely to earn less, etc.
It is so much more than that. It is the casual conversations with your female friends about their boyfriends sexually assaulting them. It is the constant messages that you are literally less human or a different species to cis men. It is the constant stream of "you are biologically inferior", and the dismissal of your concerns and emotions if you dare to complain about it. Often, these types of messages are pushed on you from birth. They're so ingrained in our society that no one even notices, even though they're so glaringly obvious.
This type of shit is traumatic. It isn't just about earning a few cents less per dollar on average.
I have many interests (art, science, growing food), I really enjoy making things.
People should work together instead of competing and hoarding wealth.
Sunbeam City is a anticapitalist, antifascist solarpunk instance that is run collectively.