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@popstar@myasstodon.xyz when racists cry about "white genocide" they're literally just talking about white women deciding to date interracially, or freely deciding to not have children. They're scared that if a white person and a non-white person mix, the child and all the following grand children will always be non-white. I had an old white lady literally tell me this. I am a white-passing mixed person, and the old lady assumed I was 100% white because she expected me to agree, so obviously that's not how genes work. I studied genetics. It's not how genes work at all. The recessive genes don't just disappear.

White people have a lot of recessive genes for skin and hair colour, because it is basically a gene that is "off", so an "on" gene can mask that at first. The genes don't go anywhere. That's how you can have two non-redheads with a redhead child. The redhead gene is still there, it's just not visible. Racists preach about "biology" but they don't even understand how basic biology works.

SBC meta 

@Awizadofearthsea that's all good :)

SBC meta 

@voltaic that seems like a good idea. I hope that will make people think about how they can work through some unconscious biases. I think sometimes the problem is that people can say "I don't tolerate descrimination" but are unwilling to work through or even admit their own biases, so that question seems good.

SBC meta 

@voltaic @raye yeah, I think that if we don't make the white people do the work to unlearn racism, then the burden will fall on POC to have to educate the white people or to tolerate the racism, which is very unfair on POC. By tolerating racism, even microagressions, we would be making this an unsafe and uncomfortable place for POC, and I don't think this is ok.

It's just like how some trans specific groups ask some questions about whether nonbinary people are valid and such, it's not meant to gatekeep, it's only there to keep marginalised people safe.

SBC meta 

@raye I don't think it would be gatekeeping, just vetting people to make sure they're safe. It doesn't have to be a huge deal, just trying to reduce the whiteness problem by educating white people a little before they come so POC don't have to spend the energy educating them on basic issues and they can feel more comfortable here.

SBC meta 

I think it is also important for POC on this instance to be able to safely speak up. Maybe an anonymous way for POC to be able to raise any issues that they have. I think it would also be good to have these issues be visible to all, so even if the small group of moderators don't address them, it is easier to keep moderators accountable.

Of course if the person reporting the issue feels like making the issue public will get them harassed despite the anonymity, I think they should have the option of keeping it private.

If I am missing something important, feel free to ignore or adjust my ideas. I just want this space to be safer for POC.

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SBC meta 

Wow, I've missed a lot. I think we have some issues to work through. I am not really sure what to do, but I think it is vital that we make this space more welcoming for POC. I have a few ideas but I'm not sure if they're good, so if any POC think that my ideas are crap feel free to ignore them.

I think we definitely need to close regestrations for now. Maybe we could have an approval process, where white people must do some "pre-readings" and answer some questions about racism to be able to get in. POC can join without doing these pre-readings. These pre-readings would be picked by POC and would maybe be a few articles about unlearning white supremacy and not befriending nazis. I also think maybe the white people on this instance can have their accounts locked temporarily until they complete the pre-readings. Hopefully this will filter out unsafe white people to some degree to provide a better space for POC.

genuine pronoun question because I don't know and am trying to learn 

@bananaguardian I think it's good to use they/them by default, but if someone asks you to use something else and you ignore them, it can be upsetting as it seems like you're ignoring their identity.

I think using they/them by default for anyone who hasn't told you to use something else is the best way to go. You can't always guess someone's pronouns based on how they look.

Being misgendered 

Was like "wow I haven't socialised lately with people who aren't my girlfriend and bff, maybe I should do that again"

And now I remember why I don't do that

Hope I won't get misgendered tomorrow :/

White people culinary crimes, food but only technically 

@popstar@myasstodon.xyz it seems like the crackers would simultaneously be too soggy from the mayo and too crunchy to be able to eat properly like a cake....

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

@myconidiosyncracy yeah I actually suspected they were trans as well but I didn't even think to ask because if they haven't told me obviously they weren't ready to

Sometimes I get curious too and excited at the possibility of someone being trans, but idk it's also none of my buissness?

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

@stackingstones idk my girlfriend is nonbinary and they seem to be accepting

But they seem to not understand that it's rude to try to figure out someone's gender :/ maybe they just assumed I'm cis and were asking as a more perfomative thing idk, I "look cis" in public so idk

Or maybe they suspect I'm trans and want to figure out if I actually am or not

Either way it feels invasive

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

@stackingstones it was really awkward and I have no idea why they are so curious :/

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

@myconidiosyncracy it's so awkward :/// I wish people didn't try to figure out my gender before I'm ready to tell them...

Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

Like idk usually I don't care about being misgendered that much because cis people don't know any better, but when it's a fellow trans person who should know what it's like it kinda sucks :(

I wanted to take my time coming out to them but I feel like I have to now, or continue to be misgendered

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Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

Like idk I think what kinda sucks about this is that it's a fellow trans person misgendering me after being given many opportunities to kinda just not do that

When they kept asking for my pronouns and stuff my girlfriend was there and we literally told them "we both use they by default for everyone we don't know the pronouns of because you can't tell someone's gender by how they look"

And then they just guess my pronouns based on how I look... after I was obviously avoiding their questions about my gender and also telling them that I like "they/them"

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Complaining about awkward pronoun situation 

When I avoided their question on whether it's ok to use my assigned gender pronouns, they just defaulted to using my assigned gender pronouns :(

Even though like 5 mins earlier I said that "they/them pronouns are good" when asked if I prefer those

I literally don't know what else I could've done to stop them from misgendering me short of outing myself

Is it really that hard to use gender neutral language for someone who you don't know the gender of and who has literally told you that they're fine with gender neutral language....

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Sunbeam City 🌻

Sunbeam City is a anticapitalist, antifascist solarpunk instance that is run collectively.