Mo Martin @MordecaiPinhas@sunbeam.city

The name of my adult tricycle is "The Revenge of Reynard Cinnabar"

ME!

Here's my #introduction

I'm 31, I've lived in Jerusalem, New York, and Mexico City.

I'm working on a degree in creative writing.

I like talking about #Judaism #Occultism #HopePunk #OnlineCulture #DoItYourselfArt #Zines #Podcasting #BookHistory #IntellectualHistory #Pedagogy #Travel

Follow me! It'll be good!

Might be time to relocate over to @MoMartin

I read E.B. White to get my head on right about sentences. Sentences, and what they can achieve.

There are thoughts I’m not allowed to go near, and one of them is the idea that my parents were complicit in my medicalization as an indirect way of addressing their own short-comings. I don’t know if I should or want to say that. For one thing, it might not be true. But for another, it is not as productive as saying, “Society medicalizes all Mad people because of the shortcomings of society.”

What was so frightening, about a small boy who chewed holes in his clothes, wrote dismal poems about God, and spent too much time by himself? The truth is, quite a lot. Children are unnerving, we do not like who we are in their eyes, how they reflect so much back. My father procrastinates, my mother worries. A child who daydreams is called “Inattentive” a child who grows agitated is called “Hyperactive.” Later on, he may be depressed or anxious or narcissistic.

My disease is societally constructed. The truth is, the chemicals inside me, the balances of humors, the delicate interplays of lighting between cells, all that ticks away smoothly and surely. Instead, what is out of balance are the people around me, their hopes and fears for me, their hopes and fears OF me. I have known this from a young age, even when I parroted back ideas like “chemical imbalance”, even when I trustingly took pills from my father’s hand and swallowed them.

There are so many words that imply that things are untrue, unreal, ephemeral, but the things they refer to are solid and undeniable. Take the idea “Societally constructed” for instance. It reeks of disdain. “This is only societally constructed.” we might say, “it has no natural existence, no biological basis.” But try going up against your society. Try stepping one toe out of line. Feel the weight come crashing down.

Also, it’s my least favorite kind of religious and philosophical movement: One that discourages citation or knowing its origins. If you're gonna tell me that I can think myself out of depression if I just have a positive attitude, you better be quoting John Calvin, Emmanuel Swedenborg, Phineas Quimby's New Thought Movement, Ralph Waldo Emerson and various others.

I hate positive thinking bullshit and the way it blames us all for our problems.

Or at least a concertina

I really want to learn how to play an accordion

Every day is someone's birthday

Called my bestie for their birthday!

I ate some fresh baked bread tonight, so you could say things are going pretty well, yeah

Ugh, I did a bad job of being a partner when it comes to housework today, and I feel gross about it.

Why do I always feel like sleeping?

“The word ‘soul’ can, in fact, be poetically spoken with such conviction that it constitutes a commitment for the entire poem.” - Gaston Bachelard, the Poetics of Space