Thinking more about the phenomenon where mansplainers refuse to share info where others actually ask for it and wondering if it's connected to a lack of confidence or just a failure to judge what kind of info is useful?

Like, they'll tell a historian that Henry VIII had six wives, but ask them which is the best restaurant in their home town that nobody else has ever visited, and they'll claim to know nothing about it.

Is it because they think history facts are REAL FACTUAL INFO and restaurant recommendations are emotional/social labour, which is women's work?

Or is it because they genuinely think nobody knows basic history but everyone can find a good restaurant in a place they've never been to, so one piece of info is useful and the other isn't?

Or is it because butting in to tell women stuff they already know is *safe*? They're socially conditioned to be polite and they're not relying on your info for anything, so even if you're wrong there are no consequences.

Whereas offering local knowledge specific to you is taking on responsibility, in a sense. What if you recommend something that everyone hates? What if you recommend a restaurant and it's closed or terrible? It's WORK.

Yesterday I asked a gold-medal-winning mansplainer to give me a quick summary/intro to a game nobody had ever played and we'd all barely even heard of. He plays an online version of this game.

He refused, saying he knows nothing about it.

I asked for "just an idea of what it's about" and "just the basics" but he refused to give us even a sentence.

So I started reading bits of the instructions out loud and interpreting what I was reading.

He started butting in to correct me.


Possibly, it's based on how much effort it took them to learn this information.

Like, if they went and read a thing and want to make a big show about how they read a thing, they will ABSOLUTELY TELL YOU ABOUT THE THING SIT DOWN AND LISTEN OK, THEY READ A THING AND YOU WILL KNOW ABOUT IT

But if it's deemed to be something they didn't need any effort to discover, the whatever, it isn't self-aggrandising enough to share.

But that's just my speculation.

@InvaderXan Good point.

Often it seems to be stuff they learned at school. So they'll tell a genetic engineer that blue eyes come from a recessive gene, or they'll tell a historian the date of the battle of Hastings, or whatever.

Is that because schoolwork was hard work and *felt like* learning?

Whereas finding the best restaurant in your home town or learning the rules of a game is fun/easy? Aarrgghh, IDK.

Yeah, that seems quite likely. School was difficult so they worked for that information and now THEY WILL TELL YOU THAT INFORMATION AREN"T YOU GRATEFUL

*deep sigh*

@InvaderXan This is a really plausible explanation. Thank you!

*joins you in deep sigh*

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Sunbeam City 🌻

Sunbeam City is a Libertarian Socialist solarpunk instance. It is ran democratically by a cooperative of like-minded individuals.