I don't think I understand what "romance" is.

My best explanation has always been "the re-enactment of tropes from media that are socially coded as romantic". Buying flowers, doing the Lady & the Tramp pasta thing, etc. But it's just.. mimicry! Interested in others' hopefully more nuanced thoughts on this.


@tty when I think about what "romance" means to me, what jumps out is "an attentiveness and thoughtfulness to another's needs and desires". Anything else feels too specific?

sooo not really limited to traditional romantic relationships i guess? But I've learned that being ace means I see the world in a very different way than my allo friends!



@nleigh half-joking: i'm so riddled with codependency that that definition is how I treat nearly everyone :D

I do like the definition though. It makes me think of "limerance" (re: Sun's comments). To me this really feels like how I treat friends by default, so maybe romance is... just this.. to an even higher degree? 🤷‍♀️


@tty lol whenever I have been asked for advice on how to start dating someone, my instinct is to just tell them to be friends… and then “friend” harder?

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Sunbeam City 🌻

Sunbeam City is a anticapitalist, antifascist solarpunk instance that is run collectively.