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abusive family patterns (trick) 

There's a handy acronym that I've built for myself to help me spot toxic behaviours: DDLIM.

Denial
Dismissiveness
Lack of empathy
Ignoring
Minimizing

abusive family patterns (trick) 

It helps me remind myself that I'm not going crazy, but that my own reality & experience is being actively dismantled by others.

abusive family patterns (trick) 

@tty been re-reading issendai.com/psychology/estran and this is pretty solid summary

it's missing ignoring of or outrage at boundaries

it was kind of what triggered a friend's mother into a spiral of pushing everyone away and hurting them too in the process, while expecting everything to stay the same

abusive family patterns (trick) 

@meena Not sure if "missing" is the right word, since this is from my personal experience of the most salient traits. Glad you're able to ID that for yourself though! ^__^

abusive family patterns (trick) 

@tty 🤦🏻‍♀️ good point

abusive family patterns (trick) 

@tty just showed the acronym to my wife who’s having these issues

abusive family patterns (trick) 

@Moss agh I'm so sorry :(

abusive family patterns (trick) 

@tty yeah, it’s tough but so far parents may be open to change

abusive family patterns (trick) + a bit of healthy(?) sarcasm 

@tty don't forget the grand finale: the abuser portraying themselves as the victim!

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