"then you should say pan"
Then you should munch my ass
Quit telling other people what their sexualities mean. That's cop shit
@interneteh in fact, if anything, it's pan that would be trans-exclusionary *shrug*
@ArtistMarciaX @efi @interneteh yeah that makes no sense, some pan people can be biphobic and transphobic in their definitions, like "bi people are attracted to men and women but pan people are attracted to men, women and trans people" which ouch, but the proper definitions aren't a problem (attraction to all genders/regardless of gender). The community definition of bisexuality is attraction to more than one gender
@interneteh ok i see
I think sometimes, the labels can muddy things up. There's a lot of overlap between bi, pan, and omnisexual (which is also a thing). Maybe it's important not to get too hung up on the technicalities and just find someplace which feels right for you. Even if you're not sure what label that should have.
I mean, nothing's set in stone anyway, right? I don't see any harm in changing your flag colours if you decide something else suits you better.
@InvaderXan @interneteh @ArtistMarciaX @skelltan @efi yeah when I used to get embroiled in the bi vs pan wars on tumblr (yes that was a thing) I just wanted to point out to everyone that at the end of the day, whatever label we use we are all connected by the fact that we are attracted to people of more than one gender and that is more important than the nitty gritty of what label means what and which one people pick cos that's a personal choice and shouldn't need to be justified!
@wolfie @interneteh @ArtistMarciaX @skelltan @efi
Exactly! I've had a ton of conversations with people who were really anxious about whether they were bi or lesbian, or whether they were pan or bi, or whatever. And like... I just feel like if that choice has become the kind of thing that people actively stress out over, maybe we should all take a step back and think about how we can not do that, you know?
@InvaderXan hah yeah that's a good decision! I actually made a side blog just for correcting people's bad bi definitions which caused me to have run ins at various times with biphobic pansexuals, TERFs and whatever the precursor to the alt-right was, it was a wild time!
@interneteh @wolfie @ArtistMarciaX @skelltan @efi
If I'm honest, my attitude (I like whoever I like and if we're both into each other, we can figure things out from there) probably matches the definition of pan best. But I'm flexible with it.
IMO my identity doesn't matter nearly as much as standing against transphobia, biphobia, and various forms of erasure.
@ArtistMarciaX @interneteh @wolfie @skelltan @efi
Community. Yes, definitely! That's what holds it all together. Welcoming others, accepting their choices, and allowing them the freedom to learn and grow, and change their minds if they want to.
You'll find something that fits and feels right for you. And I think I speak for everyone when I say, we'll support you the whole way. 💚
@interneteh I'm actually pretty curious; what would you say the difference is between bi and pan, and, if not too intrusive, why would you define yourself as bi and not pan? ^^
@interneteh "Bisexual" was a medical term that the queer community reclaimed. Its modern meaning has nothing to do with its etymology, just like how "gay" no longer means "whimsical and deviant"
People have been using the "same and different" explanation since the very beginning (because trans people of all stripes have been in the queer community since the very beginning), but honestly I don't like that explanation either. It's just a word that we use to describe ourselves and it means what we say it means, because that's how language works
@Pops good answer. Some people are more concerned with the proper etymology of words than they are what actual people tell them
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