How do people have the energy to like, work a whole bunch of hours every day (I usually assume 8 cause that's what most people work I guess) and also do side projects and *also* manage to like, read books and play video games and stuff.
If I work like, one to three hours in a day I just feel completely drained for the rest of the day, and if I manage to work multiple days in a row and have responsibilities and stuff I just kinda... shut down.
Serious question. I want to know how people do this because I have no energy for anything but so many things I want to do.
@chjara Idk most people I interact with seem to work and also have side-projects and also do other stuff and also clean their places and just... idk
@hazelnot I spent so many years trying to keep up with them, thinking I was just a failure as a person for not being able to. Wish I'd known sooner that I was judging myself against people who weren't facing the same hurdles.
@fuchsiashock It's not really just about keeping up with people, it's also about like, wanting to be able to do the stuff I really want to do while also not starving to death
@hazelnot I don't know. I hope I can last until my next contract renegotiation and then ask for a part time. If not I'll try a medically justified time reduction
@hazelnot I'm just starting. First week was all in the office, that I'm sure I can't. But working from home sometime seems to allow me to recharge a bit.
@mergan Shit I actually keep getting recommended vitamin D supplements but I keep forgetting to buy some 😅
@crashglasshouses Yes, I do have ADHD. But I don't think there's really anything I can do about it from where I am. I tried to get medication for it but the psychiatrist I went to basically first assumed that I just want her to prescribe me legal meth, and then prescribed me some extremely overpriced food supplements and some extremely addictive sleeping pills 🙃
@hazelnot sounds like your doctor sucks, are they a scientologist?
try asking other people who working full time and have ADHD? i couldn't last, i stopped trying when i couldn't even sleep enough at night to function well enough to make breakfast when i wake up.
@crashglasshouses Probably not a scientologist lmao, there are only 70 members in Romania and as far as I can tell they're all in Transylvania and maybe some in Bucharest.
I don't really know who I should ask, though. Multiple people with ADHD told me that I should get medicated lol, and I don't really know who else I should go see in this cursed city since this just seems to be the state of mental healthcare here.
Maybe in Bucharest, but I'm just terrified of going to places since we're still in a pandemic and we're still in the middle of a fucking covid wave...
@hazelnot i mean, ask masto frens. lots of us are right here. 💜
medication may or may not work. a lot of psychiatry is a bunch of bogus crap, so learning about medications is important, before taking any.
@crashglasshouses A lot of people in my replies are basically just telling me that I'm fucked forever because of how hellish capitalism is so 😬
@hazelnot i can see that, and most of it isn't helpful either. maybe try a more specific question, like "ADHD folks who work full time, how do you do it? i am struggling!!"
@firstname.lastname@example.org I take daily walks through the forest.
If I skip them, I rapidly lose daily energy.
@hazelnot drugs, vitamins and a smol exercise in the morning gets me thru the day. Without the latter was sooper tired. Now also tired, but less.
@hazelnot just re-read what I wrote and today I haven't taken my drugs. Sorry, didn't mean to sound mysterious, it's physical exercise like warmup, some pushups and squats. Definitely not levitating.
@salakala Yeah, I figured that was the kind of exercise you meant, but I was wondering if you could be a bit more specific or give me some tips or something, cause I don't really do this kind of thing at all 😅
@hazelnot something that gets your blood moving. Either do along video or printed/written plan, whichever suits you best. Start small. Idea is to wake the body up. Warmup joints, cat-camel for spine and some muscle group exercises is what I do. I'm no expert (never done any sports, TBH) and currently in the process of solidifying it as a habit. Hopefully can reduce the belly I'm starting to grow :D
In hindsight, I'd move sleep to top of the list in supporting feeling okay-ish.
@hazelnot There's a reason most of them drink so much coffee, and also usually end up with multiple medical conditions of the 'stress induced' or 'if you had taken the time to address this properly 2 years ago you'd be fine but you didn't so now it's a chronic condition' type.
(I lasted 20 months before my acid reflux was back at pre-ADHD diagnosis levels and my GP was actively refusing to do further investigation for my fatigue until I reduced my work hours. My workplace wouldn't let me do that, and then didn't renew my contract 🙃)
@hazelnot If you're also neurodivergent, yes, unless you happen to get ridiculously lucky and find an employer who will actually do anything to accommodate you 🙃
My current psychologist did also say that I should always ask in job interviews if they have a psychological safety policy or a specific policy to address employee burnout, and to refuse the position if the employer doesn't. But given my past experiences with policies on accommodating disabilities and accommodating diversity, I'm pretty skeptical in general of employer policies being worth more than the paper they're written on.
(I'm looking for permanent part time or casual now, and also noticing how a lot of neurodivergent people I see or follow online run their own businesses, or are freelancers, if they're employed at all.)
@hazelnot (And hell, even if you're not neurodivergent, disabled or chronically ill, it can be the same. Basically, it seems to be luck of the draw as to whether you get an employer who's even remotely supportive of you being a human being with needs and a life outside of work, or not. My advice? If they won't support you when you're just tired and stressed, they'll fire you when that turns into chronic illness. If you have the chance, leave unsupportive employers before they can do any long-term damage.)
@hazelnot @dartigen I disagree. Path to improvement is a somewhat lengthy process, but it's a path required to endeavor to get better. Head doctors charge a hefty fee but sometimes it is necessary to see someone else if it doesn't feel, um, professional or helpful.
Rather than going to the appointment on a gut feeling that I might have this or that, try the "golden trio" (sleep, exercise, vitamins) for a time you set. Reasoning being [1/n]
I did not even know I had ADD before I tried my friend's medication for recreational purposes out of curiosity. That might have explained some things I was complaining about to the doc.
My best bet is still to try out the 3 things (8h sleep daily, exercise & vitamins) and document the experience to have proof so to speak and then go to the doc.
Never hurts to get the usual suspects (iron, vitamin D, magnesium, immune activity, kidney function, etc) checked out just in case. (And if you have any family history or suspicion of absorption issues, pushing the doc to re-check after 1-2 weeks of consistently taking a supplement. There's usually options for people who have trouble absorbing some nutrients.)
@salakala @hazelnot For me, it took around 6-7 years of trying a dozen or more things, getting no relief, and having no explanation at all for my symptoms. I got tested for everything from myasthenia gravis (a rare metabolic disorder which has many and far more dramatic symptoms than just fatigue, sleepiness and executive dysfunction) to narcolepsy (a sleep disorder, also has other symptoms) to cancer. Nothing matched, nothing worked. I had three GPs, two specialists and a sleep clinic team completely stumped.
Then my university demanded an adult learning assessment to give me any accommodations at all on that front (because I had no diagnosis for my symptoms - a completely inappropriate use of a learning assessment, but I went with it because I hoped I might get some answers). I couldn't be given a proper WAIS-IV score because my working memory was so poor, a symptom that only fitted ADHD (because I had no history of stroke or serious head injury).
Still took almost a year to get a referral to a psychiatrist, who wasn't in the least bit surprised that it had taken that long to get to that stage (but admitted it was the first time he'd seen an overnight sleep study report in someone's records). He has enough information just from my doctor's records, school records, and 20 minutes worth of questionnaires to make a diagnosis.
@salakala @hazelnot But, the diagnosis ended up meaning absolutely nothing to my last workplace - I repeatedly had to explain to actual HR reps how it affected me in my role, and ended up keeping a stack of pamphlets from various mental health organisations to hand to them because I got sick of repeating myself.
Disclosure of diagnosis isn't required here, so I had the option to lie and claim that I didn't know the cause and my GP had been unable to find one, but I thought that was more likely to be ignored (and if they spoke to my GP they'd catch me out - not that they ever did). I tried repeatedly to get them to speak to my GP or my therapist, but they weren't in the least bit interested, and ignored formal letters from both trying to explain my situation and that their finding was that I needed to cut my with hours or leave the role. (That was the point where my GP started telling me to quit.)
But, discrimination is rife here, because all an employer has to do is claim that the adjustment you're requesting would impact the business too much and they can say they're not being discriminatory. They don't have to prove it even if you get them into court (and that can take years, if you can even get that far). Particularly in casual or temp contract jobs as well, they can let you go at any time and they're not obligated to give you a reason. Better to find an employer whose attitude to supporting employees isn't 'too expensive, go away'.
@salakala @hazelnot Supportive employers do exist, allegedly, but they seem to be far between, and I don't know if anyone knows any good ways to gauge an employer's attitude towards workplace adjustments before you take the role (short of talking to other people who work there and had to ask for adjustments, and getting honest answers from them).
@hazelnot I used to do 8 hours a day as is the societal norm here. I was slowly burning out over time & literally on the verge of death in 2019.
I do delivery now 4-7 hours a day, depending on the day. I want to get back into IT, but I'm unlikely to get a schedule that works for me. On my good days in IT I can go up to 16 hours if I'm hyperfixating, but then I can barely do 3-4 the next day. My inconsistent performance, while good on average, makes it hard to stay employed. 😢
@hazelnot I knew a guy who did like Everything. He worked and then wrote for a newspaper, had so many side projects and everything. His secret? Extreme workaholic. Would literally work to death (hasn’t died but under his cool persona is some real mental health issues)
@hazelnot you usually work consequently the first 2-4 weeks for 8h. After some deep exhaustion you find a groove and actually after like a quarter year you get bored from it. So you have to look for side projects to get your mind off.
but you have to push through that first time first.
Sunbeam City is a anticapitalist, antifascist solarpunk instance that is run collectively.