The Short Instructional Manifesto for Relationship Anarchy :ra:

Love is abundant, and every relationship is unique :ra: 

Love and respect instead of entitlement :ra: 

Find your core set of relationship values :ra: 

Heterosexism is rampant and out there, but don’t let fear lead you :ra: 

Build for the lovely unexpected :ra: 

Fake it til’ you make it :ra: 

Trust is better :ra: 

Change through communication :ra: 

Customize your commitments :ra: 

@GreenandBlack A corollary to this from an aromantic person: friendship is a relationship, and this manifesto can and should be read with a consciousness of that.

@packbat @GreenandBlack
THANK YOU. One of the key voices shaping relationship anarchy was thethinkingasexual and the core of it was NOT polyamory, that wasn't even very relevant.

At the center was amatonormativity: valuing sex and romance more than friendship and using those things as gateways to co-habitation, child raising, financial support, etc. is a harmful social construct created and maintained by capitalism and authoritarian christianity.


@packbat @GreenandBlack

Any explanation of relation anarchism that is primarily about how you treat your romantic and sexual partners and not about how you treat your friends and your community entirely misses the point.

Any explanation of relationship anarchism that doesn't mention amatonormativity and the capitalist hetero-patriarchy’s commodification of sex & love, and places opposite to it mutual aid, community and friendship, is missing the core of it.

@queeranarchism @packbat @GreenandBlack thanks all of you for the thread, with its ace angles.

For me, ten years into RA-inspired life, one of the greatest gains now are areas of asexuality. This mindset has (for example) made it possible for me to have asexual, deeply romantic relationships. I think this is very much RA influences, as opposed to polyamory influences. Reading this about the roots makes total sense to me.

@queeranarchism @packbat @GreenandBlack thanks for posting this! I just read it and was thinking "huh yeah this seems obvious" the whole time, I should think that a lot of peeps have come to similar conclusions independently and I'm glad that RA is actually A Thing.

@GreenandBlack i am totally on board with the theory here. but it's really hard to shake my old monogamous mindset in practice.

@FuchsiaShock @GreenandBlack here's the thing with the "customize your commitments" bit (I always called it Write Your Own Vows): you make the rules. Keep whatever you like about monogamy. That might, for you, be a lot. There's no right or wrong, as long as it's sincere.
If you simply start communicating and questioning these things with partners, you've come a long way away from the toxic parts of monogamy.

You also gain A Lot when trying to communicate with people practising non-monogamy, in all its forms.

re: Customize your commitments :ra: 

Change through communication :ra: 

@GreenandBlack this was pretty insightful, thanks! :blobcatheart:

many hugs for you!! :blobcatsnuggle:

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Sunbeam City is a Libertarian Socialist solarpunk instance. It is ran democratically by a cooperative of like-minded individuals.